Wednesday, 20 August 2014
Wednesday, 4 July 2012
A study of Characters on the Singapore Public Transport System
After reading through numerous newpaper articles and Stomp entires on http://www.stomp.com.sg/ , i realized that Singapore like every country has its unique set of quirky people with whom we co-habit for brief periods of time, be it at a supermarket, or the mall or the Public Transport Systems, these fellow creatures fall into the following categories :
1. Manicurists/Makeup artists/Foot Reflexologists
Manicurists are people who once comfortably seated - start by scraping out stuff from under their nails (both feet and hands), then proceed to meticulously cut them and quietly drop it on the floor, their concentration is only broken by raising their head up to see if they have arrived at their destination.
Make up artists are those, who carry all the contents of their dressing table in their bags, starting with foundation, powder, lipstick, eyeliner, mascra etc etc etc and fix their faces in public transport , I suspect most of them are neurosurgeons, since they have such steady hands !
Foot Reflexologists are those, who start the journey, with a good foot scrub, peeling off all the dead skin from the soles of their feet, they then make a rubbing motion with the thumb and forefinger, probably trying to create a pellet of dead stinky skin, teeming with bacteria and sprinkle them all over the floor.
2. Diners / Drive ins and Dives
Diners are People who eat, drink and stink the place up - never mind the rules!!
If the strong smell of Garlic, or the starchy smell of fries permeates the cabin/compartment, after the rustling sound of a plastic bag, take a look around you will find someone tucking into a portion of chicken rice from a Styrofoam Box, with a pair of chopsticks or you will find potato fries magically appearing from inside the plastic bag marked McDonalds !
Just as you recover and survive the lung full of Garlic Vapors - if you feel something sticky under your shoes look down for and you will find a trail of wet stickiness on the other end of which you will find a happy slurper sucking away at the straw Diving right into their plastic or paper cup, diligently wrapped up in a plastic bag ! such blatant disregard of Rules and defiance of authority?
Makes Me Wonder is Singapore really a "FINE" city ?
3. Octopussies
While we turn away with a smile and gently lower our from the couples holding hands or each other, or even softly hugging each other to ride out the journey, Octopussies are those couples who are either Exhibitionists or Cant afford a Room, and think they are riding a chartered trip, where they are the only two passengers !!
Worse still when they are in their school Uniforms !
If you are lucky you have “in-flight” entertainment of soft porn on your daily commute, Necking, French kissing, Groping, legs, hands bodies entwined in awkward grotesque positions, all for free !
I had to but pity the poor old reticent uncle standing in front of the couple about 1 feet away, is desperately trying not to stare and is holding on the overhead bar for dear life, while the 5 year old was pointing out to her mommy – “mommy, mommy – see that’s what ge ge was doing with kate-next-door, while you and daddy went to the market”
4. The Sleepers
No its not the 1996 movie , with the all star Cast
This Movie stars our friendly neighborhood Neighbors- on our public Transport System !
Patients suffering from Insomnia - I have to let you guys on a secret, there is one seat in every bus and train in Singapore, which is a cure for Insomnia – who ever sits in that seat falls to sleep instantly, but wake up on cue, when their destination arrives ! Wow now that’s a neat trick !!
5. The Brawlers
This is the latest Phenomenon to hit (pun intended) the Singapore Public Transport System !
You see youngsters pushing off old aunties, because they were slow to get off the bus, and then claim mental disability for the actions
You see 50+ Uncles punching each other while hurling vulgarities at each other and running around and ducking behind the seats, it was sad and hilarious at the same time !
The Next Time you are on a Bus or the MRT, keep your eyes open and I bet you would spot atleast one of the above riding with you !
1. Manicurists/Makeup artists/Foot Reflexologists
Manicurists are people who once comfortably seated - start by scraping out stuff from under their nails (both feet and hands), then proceed to meticulously cut them and quietly drop it on the floor, their concentration is only broken by raising their head up to see if they have arrived at their destination.
Make up artists are those, who carry all the contents of their dressing table in their bags, starting with foundation, powder, lipstick, eyeliner, mascra etc etc etc and fix their faces in public transport , I suspect most of them are neurosurgeons, since they have such steady hands !
Foot Reflexologists are those, who start the journey, with a good foot scrub, peeling off all the dead skin from the soles of their feet, they then make a rubbing motion with the thumb and forefinger, probably trying to create a pellet of dead stinky skin, teeming with bacteria and sprinkle them all over the floor.
2. Diners / Drive ins and Dives
Diners are People who eat, drink and stink the place up - never mind the rules!!
If the strong smell of Garlic, or the starchy smell of fries permeates the cabin/compartment, after the rustling sound of a plastic bag, take a look around you will find someone tucking into a portion of chicken rice from a Styrofoam Box, with a pair of chopsticks or you will find potato fries magically appearing from inside the plastic bag marked McDonalds !
Just as you recover and survive the lung full of Garlic Vapors - if you feel something sticky under your shoes look down for and you will find a trail of wet stickiness on the other end of which you will find a happy slurper sucking away at the straw Diving right into their plastic or paper cup, diligently wrapped up in a plastic bag ! such blatant disregard of Rules and defiance of authority?
Makes Me Wonder is Singapore really a "FINE" city ?
3. Octopussies
While we turn away with a smile and gently lower our from the couples holding hands or each other, or even softly hugging each other to ride out the journey, Octopussies are those couples who are either Exhibitionists or Cant afford a Room, and think they are riding a chartered trip, where they are the only two passengers !!
Worse still when they are in their school Uniforms !
If you are lucky you have “in-flight” entertainment of soft porn on your daily commute, Necking, French kissing, Groping, legs, hands bodies entwined in awkward grotesque positions, all for free !
I had to but pity the poor old reticent uncle standing in front of the couple about 1 feet away, is desperately trying not to stare and is holding on the overhead bar for dear life, while the 5 year old was pointing out to her mommy – “mommy, mommy – see that’s what ge ge was doing with kate-next-door, while you and daddy went to the market”
4. The Sleepers
No its not the 1996 movie , with the all star Cast
This Movie stars our friendly neighborhood Neighbors- on our public Transport System !
Patients suffering from Insomnia - I have to let you guys on a secret, there is one seat in every bus and train in Singapore, which is a cure for Insomnia – who ever sits in that seat falls to sleep instantly, but wake up on cue, when their destination arrives ! Wow now that’s a neat trick !!
5. The Brawlers
This is the latest Phenomenon to hit (pun intended) the Singapore Public Transport System !
You see youngsters pushing off old aunties, because they were slow to get off the bus, and then claim mental disability for the actions
You see 50+ Uncles punching each other while hurling vulgarities at each other and running around and ducking behind the seats, it was sad and hilarious at the same time !
The Next Time you are on a Bus or the MRT, keep your eyes open and I bet you would spot atleast one of the above riding with you !
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