After reading through numerous newpaper articles and Stomp entires on http://www.stomp.com.sg/ , i realized that Singapore like every country has its unique set of quirky people with whom we co-habit for brief periods of time, be it at a supermarket, or the mall or the Public Transport Systems, these fellow creatures fall into the following categories :
1. Manicurists/Makeup artists/Foot Reflexologists
Manicurists are people who once comfortably seated - start by scraping out stuff from under their nails (both feet and hands), then proceed to meticulously cut them and quietly drop it on the floor, their concentration is only broken by raising their head up to see if they have arrived at their destination.
Make up artists are those, who carry all the contents of their dressing table in their bags, starting with foundation, powder, lipstick, eyeliner, mascra etc etc etc and fix their faces in public transport , I suspect most of them are neurosurgeons, since they have such steady hands !
Foot Reflexologists are those, who start the journey, with a good foot scrub, peeling off all the dead skin from the soles of their feet, they then make a rubbing motion with the thumb and forefinger, probably trying to create a pellet of dead stinky skin, teeming with bacteria and sprinkle them all over the floor.
2. Diners / Drive ins and Dives
Diners are People who eat, drink and stink the place up - never mind the rules!!
If the strong smell of Garlic, or the starchy smell of fries permeates the cabin/compartment, after the rustling sound of a plastic bag, take a look around you will find someone tucking into a portion of chicken rice from a Styrofoam Box, with a pair of chopsticks or you will find potato fries magically appearing from inside the plastic bag marked McDonalds !
Just as you recover and survive the lung full of Garlic Vapors - if you feel something sticky under your shoes look down for and you will find a trail of wet stickiness on the other end of which you will find a happy slurper sucking away at the straw Diving right into their plastic or paper cup, diligently wrapped up in a plastic bag ! such blatant disregard of Rules and defiance of authority?
Makes Me Wonder is Singapore really a "FINE" city ?
3. Octopussies
While we turn away with a smile and gently lower our from the couples holding hands or each other, or even softly hugging each other to ride out the journey, Octopussies are those couples who are either Exhibitionists or Cant afford a Room, and think they are riding a chartered trip, where they are the only two passengers !!
Worse still when they are in their school Uniforms !
If you are lucky you have “in-flight” entertainment of soft porn on your daily commute, Necking, French kissing, Groping, legs, hands bodies entwined in awkward grotesque positions, all for free !
I had to but pity the poor old reticent uncle standing in front of the couple about 1 feet away, is desperately trying not to stare and is holding on the overhead bar for dear life, while the 5 year old was pointing out to her mommy – “mommy, mommy – see that’s what ge ge was doing with kate-next-door, while you and daddy went to the market”
4. The Sleepers
No its not the 1996 movie , with the all star Cast
This Movie stars our friendly neighborhood Neighbors- on our public Transport System !
Patients suffering from Insomnia - I have to let you guys on a secret, there is one seat in every bus and train in Singapore, which is a cure for Insomnia – who ever sits in that seat falls to sleep instantly, but wake up on cue, when their destination arrives ! Wow now that’s a neat trick !!
5. The Brawlers
This is the latest Phenomenon to hit (pun intended) the Singapore Public Transport System !
You see youngsters pushing off old aunties, because they were slow to get off the bus, and then claim mental disability for the actions
You see 50+ Uncles punching each other while hurling vulgarities at each other and running around and ducking behind the seats, it was sad and hilarious at the same time !
The Next Time you are on a Bus or the MRT, keep your eyes open and I bet you would spot atleast one of the above riding with you !
Showing posts with label bus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bus. Show all posts
Wednesday, 4 July 2012
Monday, 3 August 2009
The Cooler Coach Run !
Landing at Singapore – by Coach
Time 6.00 AM
Date: Sometime in 2003
Location: The HDB Block opposite Golden Mile Complex
My back was sore, sitting for 6 hours in a threadbare seat of a so-called "Coach” (a euphemism for a Freezer box on wheels, with funny smelly seats) that plies between Kualalumpur and Singapore. I was based in Malaysia at the time and my Boss had suggested, i make a business trip to Singapore by "Coach" due to the fact at that point of time the KL-SIN Route by Aircraft was the sole Domain of SIA and MAS! and a one way Air fare was SGD 300+ ! while by "Coach" it was SGD 30.00
Time 6.00 AM
Date: Sometime in 2003
Location: The HDB Block opposite Golden Mile Complex
My back was sore, sitting for 6 hours in a threadbare seat of a so-called "Coach” (a euphemism for a Freezer box on wheels, with funny smelly seats) that plies between Kualalumpur and Singapore. I was based in Malaysia at the time and my Boss had suggested, i make a business trip to Singapore by "Coach" due to the fact at that point of time the KL-SIN Route by Aircraft was the sole Domain of SIA and MAS! and a one way Air fare was SGD 300+ ! while by "Coach" it was SGD 30.00
My Bladder was full, thanks to the ice water spewing, Alaska weather challenging "Air Con" of the "Coach", which was directly on top of my head, throughout the 6 hour journey. I was hungry as a whale, as i groggily, got off the bus to encounter an enormous hulk of a building. Totally confused I tried to get me to my bearings, Bleary eyed and Groggy, the first thing I was looking for was a Toilet!
I made a wild guess that there should be one inside the Golden Mile Complex, but the problem was i was on the opposite side of the road! And there is no way i could dash across the road, to reach the complex. I lugged my heavy trolley bag up a flight of stairs crossed over the road, on an over-bridge and down the stairs again, all the time keeping an eye on my pants, lest I make a mess of myself.
Somehow I made it to the Golden Mile Complex – After finding a toilet inside the “Golden” Mile Complex, I was thankful to escape out of the building which by now was stirring up with life, I walked on down outside to the side-walk just outside the building and realized that I was carrying only Ringgit Malaysia (the currency of Malaysia) and looked for a Money Changer at that early hour. As much as I dreaded a trip back into Golden Mile Complex, I had no choice, I walked backed to the building and found 2 or 3 establishments, which displayed – Money Changer, Tukar Wang and something in Mandarin, all shutters closed!
Next door to the shuttered money changer a old Indian Muslim gentleman, was opening his newspaper and magazine shop, seeing him I hoped that, I could ask the Old gentleman for Singapore Dollars in lieu of the Ringgit I was holding, I approached him and propositioned that I give him RM (Ringgit Malaysia) for whatever Exchange rate he deemed fit, in exchange for Singapore Dollars. He looked at me as if I was out of my mind! I explained to him that I was not a frequent traveler to Singapore, and had forgotten to change the currency and since I needed to first get a taxi, to reach my Hotel Room, at the New park Hotel, which was somewhere in a Place called Little India.
He shook his head ruefully at my plight, offered no Currency, but advice. He pointed towards Jalan Sultan and said, if I follow the signboard down that road, it will lead me to a Street Called Syed Alwi Street and to place called :Mustafa, (More on Mustafa – Later) , where I can find a Money Changer which is open 24 hours ! I thanked the old man, and asked him how far it was, and he said – “Oh, it’s just down the road” maybe 5 to 10 minutes. I thanked him once again and headed off towards Jalan Sultan, I ended up walking nearly 5 kilometers, through a maze of side streets until I finally spotted Mustafa Shamsudeen and Sons Pte Ltd.
To my surprise, the place was bustling with people, 7.30 AM in the morning! I was thinking to myself, what people shop for at 7.30 AM. In any case, I was directed to Basement 2 of Mustafa where I spotted a small counter with the Money Changer Signboard. Once I finished Changing the currency, I asked the sleepy gentleman behind the counter (who I suspected must have had a sleepless night as myself) for the directions to New Park Hotel. “It is Just behind our building” he directed me. However suspecting I would have to walk another 5 kilometers, I spotted a Taxi stand outside Mustafa/Serangoon Plaza and joined the queue, which was quite long even at that early hour. As we inched, towards the end of the Taxi Queue, I asked the gentleman in front of me at the queue, where was New Park Hotel? And was stared at as if I was out of my Mind the second time, in a few hours! But by the time he could answer it was his turn to board the taxi and he boarded the taxi, still giving me that “Are you out of your mind” Look and left. Leaving me, with a “Am I out of my mind” look.
When it was my turn to board the taxi, I hefted my heavy trolley bag, which I had been trailing around since the past 2 hours, on to the boot of the car, and got into the comfy confines of the taxi, and heard a cheerful, “Hello! Good morning! Where you going to “? I threw my head back on the cushions in the back seat of the cab, and told the driver, “New Park Hotel Please”. The Driver was just sitting there, looking at me on the rearview mirror, with the same “Are you out of your mind” look. He asked me,” are you sure” ? I was reaching the end of my tether, but still managed a smile and a tired “Yes”.
He jumped out of the taxi, walked to the back of the vehicle, opened the boot and pulled out my trolley bag suitcase, dreading I must have transgressed some terrible thing, I gingerly stepped out of the taxi, he walked me 5 paces and pointed at a building, just behind Mustafa, which had a big fancy signboard announcing it was the New Park Hotel!
I walked to the hotel, presented my passport, signed the register, took the room key all in a Zombie state, I did not know how I reached the room, all I remember was the sheets were white and soft and inviting. Exhausted I hit the Sack and Slept.
Next door to the shuttered money changer a old Indian Muslim gentleman, was opening his newspaper and magazine shop, seeing him I hoped that, I could ask the Old gentleman for Singapore Dollars in lieu of the Ringgit I was holding, I approached him and propositioned that I give him RM (Ringgit Malaysia) for whatever Exchange rate he deemed fit, in exchange for Singapore Dollars. He looked at me as if I was out of my mind! I explained to him that I was not a frequent traveler to Singapore, and had forgotten to change the currency and since I needed to first get a taxi, to reach my Hotel Room, at the New park Hotel, which was somewhere in a Place called Little India.
He shook his head ruefully at my plight, offered no Currency, but advice. He pointed towards Jalan Sultan and said, if I follow the signboard down that road, it will lead me to a Street Called Syed Alwi Street and to place called :Mustafa, (More on Mustafa – Later) , where I can find a Money Changer which is open 24 hours ! I thanked the old man, and asked him how far it was, and he said – “Oh, it’s just down the road” maybe 5 to 10 minutes. I thanked him once again and headed off towards Jalan Sultan, I ended up walking nearly 5 kilometers, through a maze of side streets until I finally spotted Mustafa Shamsudeen and Sons Pte Ltd.
To my surprise, the place was bustling with people, 7.30 AM in the morning! I was thinking to myself, what people shop for at 7.30 AM. In any case, I was directed to Basement 2 of Mustafa where I spotted a small counter with the Money Changer Signboard. Once I finished Changing the currency, I asked the sleepy gentleman behind the counter (who I suspected must have had a sleepless night as myself) for the directions to New Park Hotel. “It is Just behind our building” he directed me. However suspecting I would have to walk another 5 kilometers, I spotted a Taxi stand outside Mustafa/Serangoon Plaza and joined the queue, which was quite long even at that early hour. As we inched, towards the end of the Taxi Queue, I asked the gentleman in front of me at the queue, where was New Park Hotel? And was stared at as if I was out of my Mind the second time, in a few hours! But by the time he could answer it was his turn to board the taxi and he boarded the taxi, still giving me that “Are you out of your mind” Look and left. Leaving me, with a “Am I out of my mind” look.
When it was my turn to board the taxi, I hefted my heavy trolley bag, which I had been trailing around since the past 2 hours, on to the boot of the car, and got into the comfy confines of the taxi, and heard a cheerful, “Hello! Good morning! Where you going to “? I threw my head back on the cushions in the back seat of the cab, and told the driver, “New Park Hotel Please”. The Driver was just sitting there, looking at me on the rearview mirror, with the same “Are you out of your mind” look. He asked me,” are you sure” ? I was reaching the end of my tether, but still managed a smile and a tired “Yes”.
He jumped out of the taxi, walked to the back of the vehicle, opened the boot and pulled out my trolley bag suitcase, dreading I must have transgressed some terrible thing, I gingerly stepped out of the taxi, he walked me 5 paces and pointed at a building, just behind Mustafa, which had a big fancy signboard announcing it was the New Park Hotel!
I walked to the hotel, presented my passport, signed the register, took the room key all in a Zombie state, I did not know how I reached the room, all I remember was the sheets were white and soft and inviting. Exhausted I hit the Sack and Slept.
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